The Joys of Being Single and Having Sex

If we’re honest, we all crave a relationship that somehow seems to breathe life into our souls.

A relationship that makes our broken, beautiful.

A relationship that provides unconditional love that doesn’t turn conditional when we mess up. When our flaws are revealed. When our secrets are out.

A relationship that brings peace of mind.

Peace of mind that doesn’t waver in a world where all good things seem to have a beginning and an end.

The truth is, we were designed for this kind of relationship. This kind of intimacy.

Unfortunately, human love can’t produce it.

Only God offers this kind of love. As hard as we try,

We will always fall short of love that never fails.

I watched this movie recently.  

Basically the script appeared to be sensationalizing this single guy’s lifestyle of sex with multiple women and treating them like objects designed strictly for his pleasure. Anytime, anywhere, regardless of who got hurt; in his mind, he was living the “good life.” 

Consequences? What consequences?

Conscience? So overrated.

Now, I love being a single chick. Maybe too much really. I treasure being “free” and unattached. I like coming home to peace and quiet. I like making my own schedule and not being “tied down.” But I also think marriage and family is a beautiful thing. I look forward to being a wife and a mom if and when God orchestrates it. Until then, I’m perfectly content where He has me.

That said, dude was way out of line and his lifestyle was downright offensive.

I was desperate to see his character redeemed and some sort of light bulb moment occur so I forced myself to keep watching.

Finally, due to extenuating circumstances, he stops and takes an honest look at his life.

Any of us who have been on a downward spiral for some period of time know this moment is intense.

One of the reasons we stay in a dark and downward spiral is precisely because we’re so afraid of that moment of truth.

Of what it will reveal about who we’ve become.

Of realizing we may not be as “free” as we thought we were.

But this painful realization is the necessary first step to healing and transformation.

The monologue in the last scene was so well done. As much as I was tempted to despise this character, I just couldn’t.

At first I felt sorry for him. Now I related to him.

He reminded me that everybody needs healing.

That we are all doing the best we can with what we know.

That we all crave the kind of love and fulfillment this world simply cannot deliver the goods on.

“Despite my best efforts, I’m beginning to feel some cracks in my faux finish.

When I look back at my little life and all the women I’ve known,

I can’t help but think about all that they’ve done for me..

And all I haven’t done for them.

How they looked out for me and cared for me,

And I repaid them by never returning the favor.

I used to think I had the best end of the deal…

But what have I got… really?

Some money in my pocket?

Some nice threads?

Fancy car at my disposal?

And I’m single..



Free as a bird.

I don’t depend on nobody.

Nobody depends on me.

My life’s my own.


I don’t have peace of mind….

And if you don’t have that,

You’ve got nothing.


so what’s the answer?

That’s what I’m asking myself..

What’s it all about?

You know what I mean?”

Yes Alfie, I know exactly what you mean.